WARNING!

To be deleted....
Coming soon.....

Some Thoughts

The lonelu girl now goes to a lonelu place and stays for long, lonely hours...so she could be happy.

Pretentiousness 2010

What is the true nature of man?

Is it really the hard-I-don't care-about-this-world exterior or is there more?

I have been reading blogs and I have been wondering what truth or lie hides in every post.

Are they being true or does the content involve something I sometimes refer to as teh Rizal-effect?

For 2010? Let us be true to ourselves.

In short? Mga plastic kamu tanan!

Hehehe

Walang masabi.

Just me, waiting for a certain eruption.

Why don't you join me?

Im so Out of It

Totally out of it.

Yeah, I just got out of a freakin hospital yesterday.

It felt nice being confined. It's like you have been removed from the real world nd all those white walls actually felt comforting and safe. Maybe that is why they always have white walls or cream colored walls in hospitals and mental institutions.

For two days and two nights, I felt relaxed, despite the chest pains and the allergy stings and the stomach pains.

I enjoyed my stay, inspite of the unpalatable soft diet (lugaw, yuck!). Because I was too fat, they had to stick three needles into my fingers to find a vein, whew.

Wasted blood and money.

I realized one thing though. ONe shoudl always keep in touch with ones friends. Even the iciest man would need and want visitors when he or she is confined. And I also made a sort of promise to myself: to visit those people I know who gets confined in hospitals...

Well, my students did visit me but I was already dishcarged from the hospital so they walked to our home which is a considerable distance from the school and the hospital. I was touched. They even brought me fruits... out of their lunch money... they did not have to do that ... whaaaaa.... their presence is good enough...

Hey pipz, if any one gets sick, inform me ha. I am the picture or politeness and thoughtfulness now. By the way, I love you all guys and I value your presence in my life. Thanks for being there....

Whew!!

Surprise!

My brother made me use the opera browser so I was able to update my post.

Well, how is everyone?I have been a lazy blogger this month, I know.

Life has grown ever more complicated nowadays. I have been through a lot of conflict. And there was a time there when I thought I will not be able to make it anymore.

Yep. A lot of career related heart aches. Some personal disappointments and some meager triumph dotted my way this time.

Oh, this is unrelated but I just loved 10,000 BC. I thought it would be about boring stone age, testosterone laden stuff but it was so beautiful. Yep, prophecy has many faces, many ways of coming true and I guess that ideal got stuck in my brain somehow.

It made me think about the decisions I have been forcing myself to make. I am not exactly unhappy about the decisions I have made but I know I have not pro-actively and consciously taken charge of my life.

Chances have knocked and I have turned them down... Now, I want to make something pro-active.I want to make a major makeover with the path my life has taken.

Whatever it is, I will keep everyone posted.

And yes, that decision to come out in the open has cost me a lot, emotionally and mentally. I have been battling with myself over this matter. I have decided and I am goign to make it.

If it becomes a successful venture for me, you guys will be the first to know, of course.

But what do you think? How does Heloise Abelard sound as a pseudonym?

Bugged Down

I caught the bug last Friday so I was unable to attend my classes.

It felt so nice, staying at home, I mean. I think I really missed a lot of my old lazy days. Its just so beautiful to laze around and do nothing once in a while, right. I missed doing all that.

Staying at home, watching movies again and again, listening to music… I think I am going to buy an MP3 (daad MP5) player so I could just drown out the ugly buzz of daily life.

Anyway, I don’t exactly feel much better now since the rest I had was only a one day thing. I had my Saturday graduate school classes, so it meant I had to cut short my convalescence. Yeah, I had to wake up at 3 Am and I prepared for the Sat thing since we had an assignment in our Structure of English class.

Whew.

Anyway, by Sunday, I was in a mad dash to encode a backlog of paperworks I had not attended to when I skipped school and I also had to encode a bunch of lecture notes for my Friday literature classes.

On Sunday, I refined my lesson plans interspersed with the reading of two pulp novels and the re-scanning of Jane Asuten’s Northanger Abbey. I also had to reflect since I was not feeling as chirpy as I was supposed to.

I could not even summon the desire to attend the mass so I skipped it as well. I slept at around 9:49 Pm and I woke up at 4:14 AM. I had to rush on writing my visual aids since I was not able to finish it up the other night, thanks to Samson and his son and his troops in The Wild (really nice day, really nice day da dan da da).

Anyway, I was able to arrive in school this morning at about 6:43 and I immediately turned on my radio for a daily dose of DYBS’ Shepherd’s Voice (Good Times with Mo? Can’t, my Christian needs come first eh.)

Then, before I knew it, I had to attend the flag raising ceremony and make sure that my advisory Class’ assignment is taken cared off before the first period bell rang.

Then, the rest is everyday life for a teacher like me. An English 2 class from 7:30 to 8:30, another English 2 class from 8:30 to 9:30, break from 9:30 to 9:40, vacant period (for checking, recording and/or resting ) at 9:40 to 10:40, an English 3 class at 10:40 to 11:40, lunch break at 11:40 to 12:40, another vacant (which I usually spend sleeping and/or listening to DYBS’ Day by Day and World News and Classical Guitar Hour) at 12:40 to 1:40, an English 3 class at 1:40 to 2:40 and an English 2 class at 2:40 to 3:40.

After that, I can go home if I dared to, or I have to wait for five PM for my thrice monthly meetings with the Debate Society (of which I am one of the advisers). We usually have one Council Meeting, and 2 regular meetings.

Then, sometime after six, I would go back to the office, type in a page of my novel or two, and go home. Or, I would go to my favorite internet café and download some songs, or just browse the net for whatever information, or I would go to my favorite barbecue-han and buy two pieces of baboy (yum,yum). Or maybe, I’d just go home and wala lang.

In The Mood

Mode: pedantic and contemplative
Music: Out of My League by Stephen Speaks

Solitude is a pretty nice concept. It gives one peace and a sense of imaginative freedom and disattachment to the real world.

I love solitude because I have never totally enjoyed it. I have savored that kind of sublime peace once in a while, in short burst of unexpected solitariness.

Solitude is not just about being alone, you know. You maybe secluded once in a while but you might never feel that content sense of aloneness.

I love solitude and for years, that has been the goal of my existence.

I feel a peaceful sense of solitude whenever I wake up in the middle of the night and I find everyone at home sleeping.

I love that time between 11 pm and 1 am. Genius and imagination seems to favor those hours for me. They clandestinely meet in my head and bring reason to all the disjointed and rumbled thoughts of the day.

During this point in eternity, I find the peace I long to have. It is during this time that I feel I could do just about anything.

I have also experienced that thrilling sense of solitude when I am riding a bus from my hometown to Iloilo City. It is especially most potent when I have the whole seat to myself and I have the chance to enjoy the sunrise or the sunset.

That is another thing that I look forward to now that I am about to take my Masters Degree at my previous college. I have a 7:30 class in the morning so that means I have to board the bus at about 5:00 in the morning. I would get to see the sunrise somewhere in Pototan or Zaraga and that would be totally awesome.

Then, my last period class would be at 1:30. I would spend the rest of the afternoon at the library (for my next burst of solitary ecstasy) until 5:00 Pm. Then, I would ride the bus again and watch the sunset, alone…hopefully.

Why do I like solitude so much?

I feel at peace during such times. I feel as if I can do anything I have set out to do. I feel free and I feel really happy.

I can work for hours on my own. I can take tests for as long as the whole day (as long as it is not about Math). I can listen to a lecture for a whole day. I can do research for as long as possible. But, I can never last more than an hour of mediocre chitchat with an acquaintance.

In fact, talking about nonsensical matter exhausts me more than manual labor.

I have experienced that a lot of times. After a lengthy conversation with an acquaintance, I usually find myself out of breath. That is why I try to avoid acquaintances as much as I could, especially if we have not met for years and we have nothing quite significant to say to each other (and Adel, you are definitely not just an acquaintance, so smile. I love talking to you and you know that).

Another precious solitary existence is the time I spend in the library. No one can really understand my preoccupation with books. I guess to girls out there, it’s just about the same as your preoccupation with the next moda or those scents and make ups and shoes and sandals and dresses that girls my age usually buy. To guys, I can compare it with their preoccupation with the latest gadgetry, cars and other boytoys.

And then, the height of solitary nirvana, are those hours spent inside our Parish’s adoration chapel. It was only during these times that I let go of my inhibitions and sing those songs I learned from the choir. (Oh, I do that when no one is around).

Yes, solitude is fine. I do miss it.

The Raving Lunatic

Brain: What do you want? Adulation?
Me: Not exactly…
Brain: huh?
Me: (eyebrows raised)
Brain: Go. Grovel, beg. Make them worship you.
Me: (frown)
Brain: Of course I know. I know you well. (sniggers and looks mocking)
Me: (turns away)

What do you do when confronted with the truth?

Ako? Well, I usually give the truth-teller a confused stare and leave as fast as I could. But, when it is yourself who reveals the truth, what do you do?

Ako? (again) I go to the Adoration chapel and ask God to help me.

Well, yeah. God does not answer me back, but it does make me feel a little bit better knowing I can whine and cry and blame God for awhile.

Anyway, I do feel bad just about now. Why?

Every earthly thing I did keeps haunting me. And in the end, I realized, I got nothing out of all the things I did. And that makes me feel really bad.

I gave up the things I have always wanted to do because I did the things which I have to do for others.

And what did the others have to say afterwards? Thank you? Good job plus a pat on the back or head (as if I were an attention-hungry dog).And then, another can you do this for me….

Makes me feel tired….

Bitter…

A little bit angry…

…And disillusioned…

And now, where are the others? Gone with the wind I guess. They have already forgotten me.

I guess, I am going to get absolutely selfish next year. It is going to be me, me and more me… and maybe God.

God never leaves you alone. He is there, always. Sometimes, the fact that you are aware of his presence, that he is watching, makes doing odd things a little bit eerie, weird. It makes you feel conscious.

I guess, I was right to say that in every event in our life, all we really have are memories. And sometimes, memories can be taken away.

How sad.

I know when I reread this blog in the future; I would smile and think, I was like this before. When I was too young, not mature enough and bloody self-centered and selfish.

I am not mad with the world. No. I am just a little bit disillusioned and unhappy.

Severus Thoughts

Severus Snape.

Yep.

Severus Snape.

He is the Hogwarts schoolmaster whom everybody sort of hated for awhile because he was quite cruel and unkind to Harry.

Well, unkind is an understatement, I know.

Everybody used to scream, I love Harry. I love Daniel. I like Draco… blah, blah, blah.

But, I have fancied Severus Snape early on. When I first watched the movie when I was in fourth year, I sort of like the dirty-looking potions master.

When I read the book which a classmate and friend kindly lent me, I loved the character. Ask Adel. Dib ala Del, I did say that I liked Snape?

Why?

ü He was a sad man and I am fascinated by unhappy people. I don’t know. I guess, it just seems melancholic. A little gothic, yes, but definitely appealing.

ü Snape was very controlled and quite icy. I adore men who can control their emotions and act quite indifferently.

ü He also does not feel as if he had to explain himself to anybody. No, Severus does not see himself as accountable to anyone. He moves and acts and does not care what anyone else thought about him and what he was doing.

ü He is not vain, physically speaking. He does not feel compelled to look handsome and appear cool or whatever to everybody.

ü He was totally himself in his dealings. He was a cool, albeit irritating teacher and if I were his student, I just might fall all over him.

ü Nobody liked him. Every Harry Potter fan has picked the most handsome, cool and powerful people in the series. My friends expressed fascination and adoration on Harry, Ron, the Weasely twins, Draco, the guy who became the Twilight hero, even Voldemort’s Tom Riddle character. But, I always had a special place for Snape in my heart. He shares it with Luna Lovegood and Hermione Granger.

ü Basta, I like Snape. A lot.

Aside from Snape, I also have a fascination for Luna Lovegood. I was actually hoping and wishing and praying that J.K. will make Luna Lovegood Harry’s partner.

Luna was a fascinating eccentric creature and I absolutely adored her. Again, for the same reasons as I liked Snape. Nobody liked Luna and Luna was not a cool character.

But, I still liked her.

I guess I am sucker for people who stood out like a sore thumb in a roomful of really beautiful people.

Hehe. I am a sucker for the underdog, for the weakling, for the alienated piece of humanity who never quite fitted in.

Being different is quite difficult. But Snape and Luna both proved that we, strangers and oddities that we all are, can actually cope, and cope well.

Yes. We all feel strange to everybody. I am sure that we all feel a sort of alienation from time to time.

That is normal. Trying to fit into to the normal concept is a cliché. An overdone concept. Not really required for a person to be happy.

Doing IT Right!

I do not know if the lotto thing has increased its value but I know I do not intend to buy tickets.

Yeah, the last news reported that the prize has reach up to 228 million pesos. Very attractive..

Why? We do not need the money.

What do I mean by that? Well, we are not rich and neither are we better off than others but our needs have been well-provided for.

Nanay and I worked for what we put on the table and that is okay..

What will happen if I did win the lotto?

1.Nanay will get the amount from me and give...........................

2.Nanay will get it from me and set up a business that is bound to fail.

3.I would just buy a new laptop, buy books, buy gadgets I wanted to own, have an internet and cable connection.

4. My sisters would start asking and pestering me to buy them dresses and other fashionable blings.

5. My brothers would ask for a bike, a motorbike, a new computer installed with the latest games.

6. Tito would ask for a considerable balato which he would use to pay up his utangs, as business capital to space out his batchoyan and as pang-inuman every night.

7. Lola would ask for her share detailing monthly, yearly and even lifetime expenses, making me feel absolutely guilty whenever I entertain mercenary thoughts.

8. Some co-teachers would ask me for a loan which they do not intend to pay even if I became broke later on.

9. Nanay would ask for a considerable sum again for the construction of a house which will never be started even after the entire money reserve is depleted.

10. I would be tempted to burn all the damned money in the end and go crazy because I would earn a thousand and one enemy simply because I won in that stupid lottery.

11. My relatives, whom my mother detests because of their snobbery, would hate me for hitting gold and causing my mom something to celebrate for. Besides, one of them just might kulam me or any of my siblings. Hehe

I did not know that I had it in me. I thought I was an absolute heel when it comes to money and things like that.

Who would not wanrt to be rich? But, getting rich the lotto way is unnatural. It causes more harm than good.

Even my sister April called it kwarta ka demonyo. Probably she understands that instead of causing endless good, it can cause a lot of problems to the winner and to those around her.

I was alarmed when I heard in the news that most of the lotto stations here in Iloilo have sold out their tickets one day.

People got that desperate. They honestly thought that the best solution to their economic problems is to get rich and get rich fast.

That is why game shows with staggering prizes always won the ratings game. They are playing up the human weakness to have it done easy.

Yes, I did think about playing up the lotto game too. But, what stopped me was the realization of what would happen if I win.

The reason why God gave me this kind of wealth and this kind of life is because this is what I need, that this is best for me. If I worked hard enough and He agrees with me that I should get rich someday because that will not be harmful to me, then, that is good. Who would not want to get rich?

Just Call Me Ma'am Heaven

Who said that teachers had it easy should be stabbed in the heart with a stake and buried 160 feet under a freezing grave. Being a teacher is not easy. When I started out, I wondered: God, what am I going to do? And I was already standing in front of 60 plus unknown faces who have frighteningly curious, assessing and dubious gleams in their eyes. I went through that phase in a blur. I forgot what I said and what I did that day and just like most nervous and new teachers in the field, I immediately launched into a discussion of the lesson which I had planned the other night. Then, just before I was about to dismiss my class, a student asked: What is your name, Ma’am? That broke the tension. I, as I normally do when I forget something (which always happens anyway despite my precautions and obsessions with To Do Lists), slapped my forehead and grinned. “Just call me Ma’am Heaven”, I said. From then on, upon entering the room, I was able to evolve an odd means of beginning the school year: If possible, I usually want to be the first person to enter the classroom. I would sit on the teacher’s table at the back and allow the whole class to settle down. Then, I would move to the front and just stand there. I would stare at my new students for approximately 20 minutes. (I do that to form an impression of the students based on the auras they generate. And no, it’s not a new wave concept or thing. It is just the way I am). If they become uncomfortable, the better it is for me. Then, I would write my complete name on the board. And tell the class to; Just call me, Ma’am Heaven. One student asked me once why I wanted to be called by my first name and not by the usual surname that most teachers are addressed with. Here are my reasons: 1. First, I am not most teachers (in fact, I am not most persons). 2. My mother is also a teacher in the same school and she is known as Mrs. (Our surname) so to avoid confusion, I’d rather be called Ma’am Heaven. 3. I do not like the way my surname sounds. 4. A woman’s last name is not her own. An unmarried girl carries her father’s last name and a married woman carries that of her husband (which is strange since I believe you can never really tell if a man is the father of a child but you are always very sure about the mother). 5. I want to be known as my own person: not as my mother’s daughter, not as my father’s child, not as the kid of so and so but as myself. (Maybe that is the reason why they do not have last names in the past. So If I were alive back in the past, I would be Heaven of Passi). 6. It was my beloved grandfather who gave me that name without my mother’s knowledge. She revealed that she herself was shocked to find out that my beloved Lolo named me Heaven. Thank’s a bunch Lo. Anyway, I love my name. I used to hate it a lot when I was younger and it brought me easily to the attentions of my teachers. But, as time progressed, I realized how appropriate the name is. No., I am not Heaven the Good. In fact, I am 50% evil, 50% unknown material. Instead, Heaven, to me is the sky, timeless and unpredictable. It is also a reservoir of the violence of nature and her brightest joys. There are times that the sky is happy and good but there are times when it heralds destruction. Aside from that, the Heaven’s I know are males. The son of Geneva Cruz for one, and then there’s the husband of Mother Earth (Gaea), Father Heaven (Ouranus). And I have these odd idea that the universe actually planned me to become a male. So, I will just stay Heaven, I guess.

Such a Lonely World

Happy Valentines Day, self.

Waay abi ako di rum-an so, i greet ko nalang self ko sang malipayon nga kaadlawan sang tagipusuon.

Hehe.

I have been writing really epic posts and I was shocked. I guess the my thinly veiled trying hard intellectual peeks through the kuno abi self-effacing and modest kid. Duh.

Tak-an na ko sang life ko. Tak-an naman ko mag-english. Insa? I have no date tomorrow and blogging is a lonely endeavour. (Darn, daw ma-epic duman ja haw).

Tak-an naman ko magpaka-plastik with myself.

Masubo man gali kun alone ka lang ano?

Kag ang masubo pa guid is, daw nakita ko dun ang dream thing ko in an unexpected manner. Kalain a!

I am falling in love with an entity, an entity living in a different sphere of existence.

Note: I am starting to regret posting this blog. Hahahaha. This is a first. Nagbinuang ako!!!!

P.S. Keeping the non-enlish words in italics is also taxing. Reminder to self: Pahapos next time.

Happy Valentine Thoughts

I have never had a boyfriend so I really do not know how having one would feel. Oh yes, I have been the sounding board and ear of several breaking hearts but all those chummy talks with my oh so mature classmates usually left me feeling cold. What is really the point of entering into a relationship? The fights they have recounted were pointless matters. The arguments were inessentials. The assertions and aspersions were pretty crazy and, I guess, I did not really sympathized with them back then. Alove Story...turned bad Just last Wednesday, I went to my old university so that I can apply for a Graduate study program. After I secured the forms I would need, my mother dropped me off to Robinsons so I could go book-bingeing again. After several hours in Booksale, my mother fetched me and we waited outside Mang Inasal for our Jeepney ride to the bus terminal. Most of the PUJ’s were full so we had to wait for quite a while. With us was a strange looking couple. Well, strange because the girl had the man’s shirt bunched in a tight fist. I thought they were just doing the usual icky PDA thing and pa-cutesy with each other all around. I tried to hide a grin. Well, Valentines was still a week off and these can’t really be serious. When I looked at them again, I saw the girl hit the man on the chest several times. She gave him several weak almost desperate blows on the chest. The guy was looking at her, sometimes at others, his manner calm and cool, as if he was trying to talk to her soothingly. I frowned and thought: Poor guy. He is saddled with a clingy, emotional wreck. I turned away and asked Nanay for the fruitcake she kept in her bag. Looking at them made me hungry. While eating, I could not resist taking another peek at the lovers. And I cringed at what I saw. The girl was gripping the mans shirt again, alternately hitting him once more on the chest with her fist, as she tried to lower down her voice, asking the man something, almost desperately demanding it from him. The guy looked at her firmly and held her hand, pulling if off his crumpled T-shirt. I can see that he was quite embarrassed by the spectacle the girl was turning out to be. And I thought, boys, stay away from girls like her. Then, the first tear fell and I blanched. Oh God, I thought. The girl desperately tried to keep the tears at bay, and continued to demand, in a small voice about something the guy refused to answer. Then, I saw the guilt in the guy’s eyes. And, as if the girl sensed it too (was that woman;s intuition?) her tears started falling earnestly. She was asking him why? I saw the remorse in the guys face. He did not know what to do with the crying girl (If I were him, I would have dragged her into my arms, hugged her fiercely and assure her that I will never break her heart again because yes, her heart was breaking and I can almost hear the pieces making ping, ping, ping (and toink,toink,toink) sounds as they hit the pavement). I thought: Damn you, you cretin from hell! Why do you always make gentle girls like her cry, you devil. Then, as a typical human that he is, the man grew angry and gripped the girl’s hands hard. He whisked her hands away from him and walked away and the woman stupidly followed him and did the same grip and hit routine. It was pretty stupid, really. I almost pitied the girl but I could not help feeling absolutely irked with her. Men who make you cry aren’t worth the tears. It is pretty silly, really. And I think girls deserve more than and more from men like him. Anyway, I felt really sad after witnessing such a public debacle. It was not necessary at all. And really stupid. I am quite sure that like other lovers, they started out as happy and how did they progressed a week before Valentine’s Day? Tears, and a public fight. What could be worse than PDA (public display of antagonism)? If I were in the girl’s place what would I do, huh? Umm, if the man I loved betrayed me with another girl, I think I would just ask him about it. Ask him to tell the truth and tell him to pursue his happiness. Of course, I would probably cry over him too (I would not pick someone who is not worth crying over, really), but I will do it in the sanctuary of my room. Not in front of him and the whole damned world. No way. I would never grant a man that kind of satisfaction. That only caters to their sadistic tendencies. What could be wrong? Why are these things happening? Some man leaves his wife for another woman, some woman cuckolds her husband with another guy, some boyfriend betrays her loving girl with her bestfriend and some girlfriend dabbles in cyber relationships. Cool huh? IS this the alternative lifestyles that they were referring to at the dawn of the new millennium? I mean, wow. Free for all? Duh. I really do not know with the rest of the world but I think the real reasons why I would enter into a relationship (hopefully, one that includes a ring on the finger, a Christian ceremony and a lifetime of konsumisyona and the usual 2.5 kids in a 2 storey bungalow) are the ff: 1. Love, as I define it. In a Philosophy of Man class, a classmate once asked me to say I Love you without using the actual words. My answer? I want to share my thoughts with you. I guess that classmate was right. Love cannot be explained, it can only be expressed and my expression of love is by sharing who and what I am to the other person. I love a person when I share my time and my knowledge with him or her. And when I say love, I am not talking of the romantic kind. Love for me is the desire to be with the other person. When I choose my mate someday (mate, daw sapat ba), I would give my heart into his keeping. (Daw sa Pirates of the Caribbean bala). For me, there are no such things as a true love, an endless love or a first love. There is only love. That is one emotion that one feels but that cannot be explained, not even by philosophy. Love is love. And when you feel it, you will know it. 2. Companionship That is the second reason why I would enter into a relationship. My life partner is someone who will be with me for the rest of my life; not only for today, but for the rest of it. I will not accept compromises because I only have one heart, and when I give it to him I would not take it back again. I would demand that he take care of it. In return though, I would also ask for his heart (tapos, mapista kami nga daw mga aswang, pati liver kag tanan nga kasudlan) and in the same manner, I would take care of it (and eat it with relish, niyahaha). 3. Need A classmate and I once went to a mall right after school. I think we needed to buy something for a course requirement back then. While walking, we saw a lot of couples strolling and window shopping (so called because naga lantaw lang sagwa ka window hehe) and I told her, quite innocently (yes, innocently since I was only 18 back then) that maybe, she (my classmate) should go find a boyfriend so that someone will also treat us out to dinner or lunch or jollibee. She laughed, but I know there was a mercenary glint in her eye that seems to say that she agrees with me. Hmmm. Kidding aside, that is one reason why I would also want to , you know… Because of need. That biting thing inside you that keeps you feeling unsatisfied when you know you should be satisfied. That little spark of sad feeling within that makes you cry in the middle of the night because you have no one to hug in your soft, big bed. That need for someone or something to reach out to, touch and share all the pains and gains of the day… Amu da (and I am not talking about the hunger pangs, day). 4. Passion. Love is weak, as the world defines it. But, there is something out there that strengthens a relationship. Passion, that is what it is. It is not obsession, no. Obsession is not good. It is quite destructive. Passion is the thing. If you have not yet felt that then, that is just too bad. Sige, so that you can understand me better, let us try this analogy: Have you seen a little puppy biting a shoe? When the pup refuses to let go of the shoe, passion daa. Hehe . Intiendes? Okay, so those are the reasons why I would (if ever) enter a relationship. The reasons why I would not enter into a relationship will be outlined some other time, so hold your horses…

I Lost It

I lost my files! Sh*t.

The USB where I saved most of the files I'm using went haywire. What happened? I thought that data would proved to be invincible once it is saved on a USB.

I have encoded a lot of things there thus hoping that I could save it for posterity and then, this?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Oh, that is rather hysterical. I think I do need to buy a new USB now. TSk. Salary is not yet on the calendar. Now, I have to grovel to my mother.