My Kris Lawrence Madness

If there was one music genre that I detest, its R&B.

Ask my sister. I don’t listen to Neyo and Chris Brown. I hated my sister’s taste in music because she was really into the R&B thing.

I was more on Lenka, Linkin Park, and Evanescence, I’m afraid. When Miss Independent hit the charts, I was probably one of those who remained unmoved. Forever was also duh for me.

Now, I have a playlist which features these R&B sh#ts.

And all because of one man (he is more icon than man for me).

Who?

Do you even have to ask? (Well, yeah. I mean, nobody has ever made any sense of my brain. It is so untypical).

Well, it’s Kris Lawrence.

Who, you ask?

No, not Lawrence of Arabia. Yes, I know. I tend to fall in love with dead people, but this one is really alive and kicking. I mean, he is just so hot (huh! Heaven used hot to refer to a person!!! Sure, shocking…)

Let me tell you the story of how I, a jaded and cynical old woman of 24 fell in love with a star. (Uh, no. Not in love. More or less, I was star struck. Bedazzled so to speak…)

The day…

It was an unexpected day in hell. Saturdays usually are since by that time of the week, I would be one of the walking dead.

Yeah, no teacher could ever claim Saturday as a fun day (well probably if you spent the whole week skipping classes that is). Not especially if you have to go and attend a graduate school class that was supposed to start at 7:30 in the morning.

So I was late in Methods of Research and I also had to present my thesis proposal on that very day. Oh, the date. Yes, thanks for reminding me. It was the 15th of August in the year of our lord 2009.

Anyway, on to the next class….our teacher in Structures of English asked me to leave the room for 30 minutes since they had to check the midterm exams which I unfortunately missed taking. I spent that part of the hour talking with Adel (no, it was not talking, it was really whining and groaning and banging my head against the table in anguish for the fate God has decided to bless me with).

Then, after structures, I had to go to the city to buy mani. Yeah, peanut. My mother makes peanutsy things to sell in school. Extra income and all that. A teacher’s salary is never enough to feed our brood, you just have to know that!

When I went to whatever that place is called, I was feeling so okay with myself and so accepting that I decided to walk back to Robinson’s so that I can save P4 from the fare.

You see, if you ride from that market area to Jaro Plaza, you’ll have to pay P7-8 to the driver. From Jaro Plaza, you need to hail another jeepney to Tagbak Terminal and you have to pay another P7.

If you ride from Robinson’s (where jeepneys with the Jaro Liko-Tagbak Terminal Route pass by), you will only need to pay P10. And if the driver fails to notice you at first, you can even save more… if you pay somewhere near Jaro Plaza (harhar, but I don’t do that. I am to meek to even try that scheme. I can only imagine it, I’m afraid).

Anyway, when I reached the Big Chicken (is it the Mang Inasal mascot? I like calling it Big Chicken anyway.) I waited for about 15 minutes for the jeep to come.

However, Robinson’s Place looked so inviting that day.

No, I am not fond of window shopping. When I go to a shopping mall, it is usually because I need to buy something. Books usually.

In fact, there was even a time when I went to Iloilo just to buy a thousand pesos worth of books at Booksale. I left my hometown at 4:30, caught a bus, jumped for a jeepney to SM City and spent thirty minutes at SM City Iloilo to rummage for books at BookSale. After that, I caught the last trip bus bound for my hometown. I had a big grin on my face since tucked under my arms were my book treasures (yeah, I spent at least three hours on travel at that).

But that is supposed to be another story.

Anyway, when I entered Robinson’s Place at 2:30, I noticed that there was supposed to be an activity.

I did not know what the show was about or at least, I was not sure if it has already finished or was just about to start.

After drooling at the books in BookSale (I hate window shopping, really), I planned to go home. Then, I saw this poster with Kris Lawrence’s face on it. Moments of Love, as if I cared (back then, I honestly did not. Kris Lawrence was just a distant figure and I really did not care about him. I did hear him being interviewed at Boys Night Out a month or so ago…

Anyway, something made me decide to stay. And so, I waited and waited and almost memorized the procedure of making waffles and stuffs…Still, no Kris Lawrence.

I spotted two of my students somewhere among the throng of people and boy, was I embarrassed when they turned and saw me. I wanted to sink underneath the floor of Robinson’s Place at that time…

I mean these were my students! They know me as the old fashioned conventional man hater that I show the world. And look at what I am doing? Waiting for Kris Lawrence to arrive. Ugh!

I was always unimpressed with Piolo Pascual, Jericho Rosales, Richard Rodrigues (z?), Dingdong Dantes… If they were the ones who were supposed to arrive that day, I would not have bothered waiting.

But Kris Lawrence was…well, I can not really explain. Maybe, I was just ready to be star struck that day.

Kris Lawrence arrived at sometime around four thirty. He probably stopped at the Car Park area since he came in as stars were supposed to come in…with a grand entrance.

He was escorted by guards and it was really unexpected. I mean, I expected him to walk by the front entrance, instead, he came in from the second floor building.

Wow. I could not help grinning. He is not exactly the first celebrity that I saw. I mean, there was this really famous teen heartthrob back in college whom I saw at SM City (problem is, I was not interested, I was just hungry back then and I wanted to go home).

This time though, I was really paying attention.

When the crowd erupted into screams of Kris, Kris, Krissssss…. I started laughing. The crowd’s reaction was so damned funny I can’t help it.

Well, Kris Lawrence is only human after all. He is not God.

But, my heart was really beating so fast that time. My senses were so heightened and numbed at the same time.

I also wanted to scream but nothing left my mouth. There was this big lump in my throat that chokes back any humane reaction…

Then, he sang. I think it was Miss Independent. I was bowled over.

I never cared for the song but now, I keep playing the tracks. Stupid me.

He sang another song, a remake of Jeremiah’s song (forgot the title). Then, after that, he sang Forever.

I fell in love with the stupid song too.

Oh, if only I were beautiful and pretty and slim and sexy and all that… I would have probably caught his attention.

Oh, I did catch his eyes at one point for a second or two (because I was the only one in that goddamned area where you cannot see anything because the speaker things are there…I can’t get through the crowd!)

How did I know he was looking back? Well, a creepy crawly feeling went up my spine… The hairs on my arms stood on end and I just melted like rubble (thank God no student of mine was around). I almost screamed my head off.

Yeah. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. Magic in motion. His voice was so caressing and he was such a crowd handler, he can make your head spin (sometime in the future, I will reread this post and laugh my head off from this untypical eweness and yuckness).

That afternoon, I fell in love. It was a really heady experience. I was just smiling from the inside out and I held on to the joy with all my being.

It is an innocent emotion, I tell you. Pure and simple and innocent.

I have no other term to call that feeling. Star struck maybe, because I have never been star struck before. I always took experience and people with the typicality of everyday triteness.

All I know is, my heart was pounding so fast I felt so alive. Odd, happy tingles crawled up my spine in excitement and I was almost choking with exhilaration.

Darn.

I wanted that feeling. I felt so real, so alive…as if I was on the precipice of a really big discovery about the magic of the whole danged universe.

I was just about to grasp that magic with my hands when boom, reality came; Kris stopped singing and I had to reluctantly turn my back and go home to the real world just like everybody else.

(Sigh).

I guess that is it then.

And he probably was not looking at me, I just wanted to imagine it to be so (who would look at a fat, obese ugly walking pig in a mall?)

Anyway, the damage is done. Thoroughly. I hope I don’t get star struck again. I will try to avoid events like this one sometime in the future.

Why? Because…

Now, I am listening to R&B. I have Kris Lawrence on my desktop and I am planning to buy that CD. Anyway, I have always loved Ewan McGregors Your Song there so it should be worth it. Plus, I get to sleep with Kris Lawrence crooning love songs which remind one of a certain doctor and his patient…hehe.

I feel so unsure… tadada dadan...

Error Alert!!!

Oh, and by the way, I would like to correct an embarassing typo. error on one post.

I know the last book is Breaking Dawn. I do not know why I kept typing Breaking Down. Maybe, it was a slip of the tongue...err, fingers I mean. I was probably the one who is breaking down myself.

Hehe.

Kahuruya cmu Ma'am Heavs. Kate thinks.

Yeah, right. It was very blasphemous.

Forgive me, everyone. I love Twilight. I love the two books from the saga, Twilight and Breaking Dawn. I wish I could merge New Moon and Eclipse into one book na lang. And call it what? New Eclipse?

Yeah, old stuff, I know. But I still love it. Nothing clearly accounst for taste huh?

I am IN Love

A student lent me his DVD collection of historical flicks.

Strangely, I enjoyed watching them. You see, I am not exactly big on watching films that feature historical events and people.

They are just too real. Aside from that, I am very much aware that human history has not celebrated any successful life stories that ended with a happily ever after.

We have stories of pain, suffering, blood and gore, annihilation of one race and another...

History is supposed to show us how mans, despite his frailness, has overcome the odds; despite his mortality, has defeated the oblivion of death; and despite his limitations, has turned failure and defeat into glorious victory.

But what I have watched has twisted my concepts of historical flicks (or am I supposed to call them period films, huh?).

We started with 10,000 BC. It rocked my concept of fate, destiny and prophecies. It was an ironic movie that contradicts its own message.

Then, my brothers could not resist 300. I loved Leonidas. These Spartans had great bodies but the mind, the will, and the character of each and everyone of them was downright fascinating. I would not mind marrying someone like Leonidas or maybe one of his cocky boy-soldiers who fought to the death.

My sister ran over The Last Legion. I was not able to watch it thoroughly. I do know I like the concept of destiny and inevitability that it implies.

All that made me reevaluate the legends and stories of the past. We no longer believed that a King Arthur has existed or that there was a Beowulf or that once, Robinhood championed the poor.

We remember our own Lam-ang as just a shady epic hero...

Now, when my sisters asked me about the veracity of the stories we have just watched, I told her that they were true. That 300 was an artistic interpretation of the Battle of Thermopylae.

That the Spartans were really strong, hard men who were warriors through and through...

What if, King Arthur, Robinhood, Lam-ang and a host of other epic characters we now consider as mere figments of a rich and healthy imagination, were actually real men whose stories were exaggerated to make the stories incredible, the life more improbable and the triumph more grandiose.

What if, they were real? What does it say about us?

Anyway, I am glad I watched these flicks ( but I was not able to generate enough courage to watch Troy, I have dissected the story too well, I am afraid... and I do not have the nerve to check out Beowulf itself..)

Now, I am going to watch Twilight again, to cleanse my mind which is still stuck in the quagmires of the past.

Coaching the Coach

My apologies to Dyna, John PAul and Shary.

These three SSC kids were the winners of last years school level newscasting competitions and they were supposed to represent the school iin a local newscasting competition at SM City Iloilo.

MOst unfortunately, there was a mix up of information due to the coach's (specifically me) irresponsibility.

Because of that, a fellow coach and I have decided to cancel the participation and I, in my state, forgot to inform the students. I told myself since no one came when I called for practice, then, they may not be interested.

It was a foolish and embarassing mistake.

Well, I meant no harm guys. I am afraid I got totally hooked in a new world I have been creating. Add the tension of graduate school as well as the new demands of our school and I am one confused mix of nothing.

I blame no one but myself. I know I should have been more responsible, more concerned about what is happening.

Guys, I am very sorry. I hope this reaches you, wherever you are.

I know what I did is not a good sign. I am already seriously considering turning over the advisory responsibility of the club to someone who is less forgetful than I am but I also do not want to acknowledge that I have allowed this weakness to defeat me.

Guys, debaters, I need your help. I cannot make our club a successful one without your help.

Whew!!

Surprise!

My brother made me use the opera browser so I was able to update my post.

Well, how is everyone?I have been a lazy blogger this month, I know.

Life has grown ever more complicated nowadays. I have been through a lot of conflict. And there was a time there when I thought I will not be able to make it anymore.

Yep. A lot of career related heart aches. Some personal disappointments and some meager triumph dotted my way this time.

Oh, this is unrelated but I just loved 10,000 BC. I thought it would be about boring stone age, testosterone laden stuff but it was so beautiful. Yep, prophecy has many faces, many ways of coming true and I guess that ideal got stuck in my brain somehow.

It made me think about the decisions I have been forcing myself to make. I am not exactly unhappy about the decisions I have made but I know I have not pro-actively and consciously taken charge of my life.

Chances have knocked and I have turned them down... Now, I want to make something pro-active.I want to make a major makeover with the path my life has taken.

Whatever it is, I will keep everyone posted.

And yes, that decision to come out in the open has cost me a lot, emotionally and mentally. I have been battling with myself over this matter. I have decided and I am goign to make it.

If it becomes a successful venture for me, you guys will be the first to know, of course.

But what do you think? How does Heloise Abelard sound as a pseudonym?