(A throwback to watching Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty last weekend.)
The bedrock of my life is eroding beneath me. Bruce Nolan (Jim Carry)cried this Nolan when he did not get the anchor job he so wanted.
I cried out this line when I found out that my long time crush, obsession and fascination was actually getting married.
Yeah, talk about adolescent angst carried over to twisted adulthood.
Anyway, I have been in crush with the guy since I was eleven years old. That was back to the time when I did not believe in fairy tales and Santa Claus. Because of him, I started believing in happily ever afters, in the great vast unknown and in destiny.
It was this guy who made me very interested to know things around me. He made me want to learn about the world, his world and my world. He inspired me to read about things that I do not know about. He made me long for fairytales, for distant places, for the future.
I have files of articles, pictures and what not's about him. I kept them all and even brought them whenever I travel. I write letters to the guy which I kept in my file.
Whenever I fall out of crush, I always "tell" him and feel comforted afterwards. He kept me sane for the most insane part of my development. He kept me grounded but allowed me to soar and use my imagination and my love of reading. Because of him, I got hooked to regency romances, then historical romances and then off to anything English.
Partly because of him, I took up English as my major because I wanted to be an English teacher.
I stopped consulting and getting comfort from him after I graduated from college. That was also just about the time that I stopped believing in marriage.
Then, last Tuesday, I opened my box, found his file and I started going over it. Once more, he gave me comfort and delight and belief in the future. But with that came the realization that I love the guy already. Why? Because he was a fairly decent fellow who taught me all about life, who kept his sanity despite the break up of his parents marriage and his mother's death. Despite the abnormality of his life, the temptations, the difficulties - the guy was able to grow up decently.
The next day, on that Wednesday, I just had to hear the announcement over Bombo radyo. I was on my way to catch the Salngan jeep and I just had to hear that. Prince William is marrying his long time sweet heart.
Yes, I was talking about Prince William, my long time crush. It was William who inspired me to study really hard. I remember spending one afternoon lying on our school library floor just reading an encyclopedia on United Kingdom.I studied English literature, studied UK in detail, read regency and historical romance novels set in England, Wales and Scotland, fell in love with Shakespeare and Blake because of my obsession with English lit.Unearthed Austen and Wilde too. Darn. He has lead me to a lot of interests. He also made me a voracious internet user in high school (at a time when the per hour rent was P30.00).
I was so jealous of one of my classmates who also had a crush on him. Now, that classmate is a happy Mom and I am still obsessing with William.
So, bedrock - of - my - life - is - eroding - beneath - me - line should suitably describe how i feel.
Anyway, I hope the marriage will be a happy, successful and fruitful one. But do they have to use Princess Diana's engagement ring?
