Clueless

Life is one tricky old game. I guess, if I were an irreverent atheist, it would be so aesy to make fun of God and say that He is one wicked game master who wanted to play with creatures and test certain theories. Or He could one really lackwit mad scientist who wanted to prove his theories.

Whatever we say, life really sucks.

And there is no life on earth which sucks as much as mine does.

I have been a part of an ugly conspiracy which I am asking God now not to let blow on my face since I have learned my lessons and would unlikely forget them for the rest of my life.

In fact, here is a summary of the things I learned from my ugly experience. Maybe, someday, I can frankly tralk it all out.

I know that at this ppoint, I am one of the villains in the story and gee, I believe I would rather be the abused one, the battered heroine, the conspired against idiot than the evil doer.

First, I learned the importance of really getting to know yourself. Knowing what you can and cannot do will help you make the right decisions and choices. This experience taught me a lot about myself. I may leave this part of my journey smiling but deep inside are the indelible marks of my journey with my learners. Deep inside is the knowledge that the actual journey is not yet finished and the marathon must keep on.
Second, I learned that one must be careful in accepting responsibilities. And, once a responsibility has been accepted, one must not think of what one can get from the duty. It is enough to know that you keep your end of the bargain. Doing less would give you sleepless nights and a very bothersome conscience.
Third, I realized that money is the least important motivation of all (in my case that is). It never works to measure all you do as a way of earning money. This may sound really impractical but, it is more important that you get an internal drive to finish what you have started, an emotional investment to do your part with the best that you can and a sense that what you are doing is right because you heart agrees with you.
A clean heart, a quiet mind and a peaceful soul is the most important reward of all.
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I have learned to give allowances to the mistakes that other people makes. They are only as human as I am and are therefore just as privileged to be given second chances.
Yes, most of the my learners have committed grave moistakes and made choices which pulled them to inevitable difficulties. I used to be so impatient about these matters. However, coming into contact with them regularly made me realize that they did not know they had a choice.
My forays into the world of my learners taught me to always remind my students in the formal school system to be aware that in life, they have choices and options that they should always consider. Forearmed is forewarned.
I now make it a point to show everyone that there is always this way and other ways and that the choices they make in the present would determine the direction of their future.
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