Prince Tainted

Written on an afternoon after spocking a former crush.

I was surfing the net that day when I remembered a high school crush ( a sort of fling things since it only lasted for as long as I was choir member) I spotted again in one of the big malls in our province.

I decided to look for any on line tracks that he might have left. I searched for possible friendster accounts, youtube entries (since he is a choir instructor), hi5 membership, yahoogroupies, etc.

When I tried to spock him (try www.spock.com for more details), I was able to find several entries.

He has a blog in one famous blogger’s site and in that particular blog, he admitted that he is gay, and proud of it.

Whew!

Way back in high school, I did hear stories and tales as well as doubts about his sexual preferences but I never even considered them as true. Although, when an older member of the choir warned me that this tall, blond-haired (artificially so) singing Adonis (does that make him an Orpheus) is gay and has no interest in girls like me, I just laughed it all away.

I mean, he was so dashing back then. He was build in a lithely muscular way and he carried himself with such bravado and such a forceful personality that I had not counted on him being gay at all.

The fact that he has a hauntingly rich baritone that seems to seep inside your bones everytiume he sings is an added bonus. Plus, he plays the piano in a strangely disturbing manner (or was it just the complicated piece he was playing?) and he is a dutiful son and person.

I adored that Prince. He was so much like the Vampire Armand in a way. So strong, yet so laid back and easy going and in a way, so adorable. He had very beautiful eyes, a patrician nose that belies his CAstillan roots as well as a sense of humour that is self-deprecating in a way.

I adored the guy. For the rest of the summer of my third year, I walked on clouds, really smitten over such a sophisticated fellow.

I created a seriesful of illusions about him.

Then, when I graduated from high school, he left the choir and went to Manila to look for a job.

I was not able to hear much from him lately. Until last December 30, 2008.

HE has changed a lot. He has grown thinner, and he lost the fascinating sparkled he once effortlessly wielded against unsuspecting girls like me.

He looked older. There were tired lines on his face. He looked gaunt and strangely dry, as if the world has sucked off all his essence.

He used to be so alive-looking, so full of vibrancy even if he does not speak. He had the healthy sparkled of an unblemished life. One that is devoid of sin, full of the innocence of youth.

I remember thinking how adorable he was back then especially when he was sick for a week and had to come back for a rehearsal. Despite having not so fully recovered from that bout of flu, he still looked healthy and he had a becoming rosy flush on his really cute cheeks.

I was staring at him when he sneezed in an adorable way and he caught me looking at him. He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners, sparkling in deviltry. He was so adorable.

Now, I see a shell, a husk of the man he was once. I did not know what happened. He just appeared like a dry twig in the glaring and unflattering lights of the mall.

I lost a prince again.

I believe he probably started living the debauched life of an urban gay, one that is into parties and stuff like that. In that blog, he admitted being bad, he sensed an innate evil and he said that he is afraid of getting real close with anubody since he would only end up hurting that person or maybe, destroying that person.

I do not know if I used to see him with rose-colored glasses. But, in the full light of day, I found that the Prince has become a frog.

If only a kiss could turn him back into a Prince again and bring back the vibrant man who had an honest smile and a brilliant sparkle in his eyes.