Time for Sale!

I don't really know. I may just be lazy but I realized one thing after a very long, long time.

I hate what I am doing.

I am a teacher in a public school here in my sometimes-not- so sleepy-hometown. The school I am teaching in is my very own Alma Mater where I first learned that life has a pattern.

I am not yet a regular teacher but at least I am receiving a regular salary once a month from the local government.I have been teaching here for almost 15 months now and I have seen a lot, heard a lot, learned a lot...but sadly, I also lost...a lot.

When I graduated last March 2006, I was not the regular graduate. I was bitter yes. Bitter in a sweet way.

However, I had so much hope for the future. I had so much idealism, enthusiasm and optimism inside I was almost bursting with it. They were the remnants of my college days, the ones I kept inside for safekeeping.

During my first year, I was so full of IT. I thought I could do everything and no one, not even myself, can stop me. But I was so wrong.

It took me only a year to lose my enthusiasm and some of my ideals. At least, I wised up enough to understand that I need to tuck my ideals somewhere deep inside me so as to preserve it from total destruction.

I thought that after another five months, I have nothing more to loose to the system. But, it is know killing my optimism. I can feel the invisible force of the system strangle the little baby of optimism I hold within.

And, I also realized, lately, that I was actually losing something more important...something that no amount of money can ever buy back for me:Time.

For P60.00 an hour, I sold my time to the system I used to hate in college... I allowed it to take from me the chance to grow and spend my time the way I want to...for security and comfort, I let a portion of my life flit away from my grasp.

For what? So that when I retire 50 years from now, I can enjoy my time without any worries because the government will pay my pension every month? And what use will I be then?