Secret Dirt and Bad Habits 2

I do not know how to start this, too. I mean, I have already encoded Part 2 of SD & BH but due to power failuer, I was unable to save the changes.

Anyway, when I talk about my hauntings, and my bad habits, I was actually referring to the odd fascination I developed about the fame, power and prestige of the Prince I was talking about. He was handsome, he was rich and he was on top of the limelight.

What made me like Prince William of Wales (yes, I was talking about that near-balding Prince of the British throne in Part 1) is the picture I had of him. The first picture of the shy and innocent looking 15 year old boy and later on the sensitive-looking picture of an 18 year old or something young man who was sort of looking for a frim anchor in a rocking world.

Since I came from a less than priviledged family and my parents had to scrape dirt for a living, I cannot afford to buy magazines about him. I had to content myself with the occassional newspaper clippings that I can get from my grandmother who uses them as wrapper in her dried fish selling business.

It was funny, really. I would cut out the picture and the article and compile them on a folder labelled "My Elusive Dream". My bestfriend who also fancied the Prince (and who could afford the mags) would show the magazines to me. I stared in fascination as the mags tirelessly featured him and his family, what they do, how they live, what are the latest mess in their lives and what women would eventually made it as Princess of my Prince. I've met words such as the vamp for the first time, and I started thinking, "Wow, the world is not all about running after some geeky classmates who'd make fun of ones ponytails or pigtails."

I got hook with England and the United Kingdom in general. I studied London in a pocket guide I bought from a second hand bookstore. I got totally crazy over historical romances set in medieval and regency England. I fell in love with Scottish and Irish heroes in those romances thinking of them as the Prince .

Then, I grew up. I made my bestfriend believe that I was so over Prince William because I did not want to hurt her feelings. I could always treasure my Prince in secret. I have my Journal to share the feelings with anyway. Besides, I like learning more about him from my bestfriend. To torture myself, I would help bestfriend conjure up fantasies about her and the Prince.

Then, when my bestfriend and I parted, I owned up to the feeling, again. And once more, I haunted the library fro more information about United Kingdom and England. I found history as a reliable and entertaining source.

3 years later, I met up with another classmate who was also a self-confessed William fan ( William is very popular in the Philippines, hehe). We did not exactly team up, I mean, we were not that close and once more, I pretended that I was over him (why did I keep doing that?).

During our class graduation ball, I even wrote a class prophecy featuring lovely classmate and Prince as a couple. I even read that in front of the whole class (yeah, I was so duh).

I tried forgetting Prince William when I reached college. I had a degree top finish and I had a lot of thinbgs to learn. But, William has left his indelible mark upon my person. Through him, I discovered a lasting love of English literature (and literature in general), a fascination with English history ( and history in general) as well as an interest in the world.

Through him, I learned that I am not the only person who existed on earth and that I really have a lot to learn to prepare myself for whatever repsonsiblity lies out there for me.

I went through college with the Prince as a sort of inspiration. Everytime I fell out of crush with several college guys, I would turn to my elusive dream files and dream. Then, I would find another man who would fit my criteria and I would hide my files of the Prince.

This became a pattern. When I would feel sad and loney, I would talk to his picture, the one where he was wearing a tie with duck images on it, and where he looked so like MY Prince.

I was unhappy. I never had a boyfriend. I grew really fat (obese)actually and I made myself believe it did not matter at all since I will never be able to meet my Prince anyway.

It was bad. After college, I thought it would all get better.

Tsk.

Things only got worse.